"kids arent being social now a days because of those brain washing phones" what the fuck do you think we’re doing with the phones. do you think we just stare at the number pad. do you think twitter is just a one way text from a robot bird.



hey look


it’s shakespeare.

that was the worst pun ever but im laughing

Anonymous asked: One time, I was at school, and was eating a pickle. It was a good pickle, but that's not the point. While eating, a guy behind me asked if I was Beyonce. I said "No," and he was like "Oh," and back flipped away. It was strange. But this story is 100% false because I don't like pickles.


ONCE like 5 years ago i was in a wal mart and some teenaged dudebro on a motorized cart with no discernible reason to be riding it scooted up to me while i was waiting on a bench and after a pause said “im michael jackson” and nothing else and after another moment i was like “you look pretty good for being dead” and he jsut scooted away without a word



it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

(Source: barfemoji)